This week’s biggest gainers:
Are you the only one running for mayor? The newspapers sure seem to think so.
Ever wonder how he got the nickname “Fast Eddie”? Just look how smoothly he got the media to spin positive when he got convicted last week for real estate fraud. Wonder what he could do with a murder rap…
What’s that saying about Cubs managers? In like a lion…
Can you please share some of that mojo with the offensive line?
Congrats on being named one of the NHL’s “Three Stars” for the week! Two more stars and you get a day off from doing the dishes.
This week’s biggest losers:
At presstime, reports surfaced that the Trib board was about to dump you as CEO. The good news is that several college frats have a room you can crash in.
Surprised you’re out of a job after sending a company-wide email linked to a video you labeled “sluts” to your Tribune crew? Duh. We calll them “ho’s” these days. Sheesh.
Offensive genius? We get the offensive part after the Seahawks shambles….
Your police force might be unable to catch the criminals, but they’re doing a crack job at beating up drunk college students and other assorted civilians.
Wade D. Miquelon
Walgreens CFO was arrested a second time for drunk driving. Good to know that America’s prescription drugs are in safe hands.