Street Smart Chicago

Chicago Hype Exchange: Charting the Capricious Contours of Celebrity

Chicago Hype Exchange Add comments

This Week’s Biggest Gainers:

Neil Bluhm
The JMB mogul hit the jackpot, opening the Rivers Casino, the first in Cook County. The poor li’l billionaire, he could use the ka-ching, we’re sure.

Bill Davies
The British real estate developer proposed a colossal development centered around the old Post Office that would give Chicago the tallest building title once again. Only half the reports were skeptical about his plan.

Cory Gibbs
The Chicago Fire defender can forever retell the story of the day he managed to score against Manchester United, arguably the world’s best soccer team. He’ll probably leave the part out where his team went on to lose 3-1.

Eric Kirsammer
An upcoming issue of the “Amazing Spider-Man,” available July 27, will feature Kirsammer’s Chicago Comics, as Spidey attempts to save comic book stores around the country. Shoplifters beware the webslinger!

Justin Howard
The Chicagoan was crowned America’s top air guitarist at the Air Guitar National Finals, making him eligible to compete in next month’s world finals in Finland. Rock on, Guitar Hero. And father said he’d never amount to anything.


This Week’s Biggest Losers:

Arthur Gerald Jones
This Chicago man/zombie/illusionist went missing and was presumed dead in 1979, but was found and arrested last week while working as a bookie in Las Vegas under a false ID.

Jay Cutler
Decided to cut his fiancée, ex-reality star Kristin Cavallari, reducing his fan base in half.

Richard J. “R.J.” Vanecko
The Sun-Times continues its crusading investigation into the mysterious death of David Koschman after being punched in the face by Vanecko and, uh-oh, Uncle Richie’s not mayor anymore.

Farley Kern
Spokesperson for Hyatt took heat after one of his managers turned the hotel’s thermal lamps on during a scorching hot union protest.

Antonio Crawford
Crawford left his ID in a taxi that he held up after the stolen credit card he tried to use was declined. And no, he’s not related to the guy who filed a police report about stolen marijuana.

Leave a Reply

You must be logged in to post a comment.