|
 Going
from star-struck to star-crossed, this
year's Oscars have been dogged by more scandals than Robert
Downey Jr. and any five child
stars you'd care to name. And what's the best thing about scandals?
Gossiping about them, of course. So many goofy tidbits have spilled
out in the last few weeks that the scare
over lost
ballots seems like it happened way back in the
eighties.
So, did you hear
what happened to those crazy
chumps who bunk down outside the Shrine Auditorium for a week
just to get an eyeful of Christina
Ricci's cleavage and all that other celeb
pulchritude? Well, after neighbors complained, "The campers were
evicted from their traditional spots on the sidewalk where they were
waiting for bleacher seats," reported KABC-TV
in Los Angeles Wednesday. Officials gave the campers numbered vouchers
which will "allegedly" allow them to reclaim their spots in line Sunday
in time for the arrival of Hollywood
swells, the station noted.
And how about the off-color "South Park" song that got nominated?
Hey, at least it wasn't "Uncle
Fucka." Trey Parker and Marc Shaimin insisted "Blame
Canada" be sung just as they wrote it--with the offending
lyrics bleeped if necessary. But the Academy's now promising
hot young comic Robin
Williams will belt out the tune, perhaps providing some lighthearted
censorship to keep the telecast from earning a TV-14 rating.
Whatever Williams serves up, chances are it won't top last year's
stunning
interpretation of "Saving Private Ryan" through the universal
language of dance.
Everyone's still talking about "salvage man" Willie
Fulgear that like what Barry Diller does with the various media
companies he takes over?--finding most of the missing Oscar statuettes
in the
trash. Police soon arrested
two shipping-firm workers in connection with the theft--or,
as Variety
put it, "Cops clip shippers in Oscar caper"--but only
one man has been charged. The real questions, though, are: Will
Willie get the promised
$50,000 reward, and where the hell did the other missing
Oscars end up? Anyone checked eBay
lately? 
Speaking of buying and selling, ever since "Shakespeare in Love"
beat out "Ryan" for Best Picture last year, charges that Miramax
and other studios will do nearly anything to buy
an Oscar have been leveled in the entertainment press with startling regularity,
proving once again that sour grapes and conspiracy theories combine
to make a powerful media brew. With all the new
faces among the nominees,
it's clear the process remains as fair
and pristine as
ever.
As if the stars didn't already have enough to worry their pretty
little heads about, now PETA's demanding all acting nominees wear
clothes only by designers who never
use fur on their outfits. On a related sartorial
note, Oscar presenter Jane Fonda decided she likes the dress
she'll be wearing so much she's going to hang
onto it instead of donating it to an auction benefiting the
Georgia Campaign for Adolescent Pregnancy Prevention, as she had
earlier promised. Classy.
Of course, we can't forget about this year's other spoil-sports--the
none-too-cool
Webhead who tried to release the nominee list early, and the financial
rag that made a run at compiling
Oscar voting
results before they could be stuffed inside that hermetically
sealed mayo jar over at PricewaterhouseCoopers-Whatever-Other-Company-It-Merged-With-This-Week.
Why couldn't they just have fun guessing
the winners in Oscar office pools, contests
and parties
like the rest of us? Among the 332
entertainment awards shows now clogging our screens, can't we
keep one a fun surprise? Will Randy
Newman, the Susan Lucci of the Academy Awards, finally walk
home with his bit of gold this year? Can "American
Beauty" hold off the strangely non-controversial "Cider
House Rules" for the big prize? Will "The
Insider" score an
upset or two? Will Whoopi keep her promise
--please God--never to host the Oscars again? I'm itching to invest
four hours to find out.
Frank
Sennett
Newcity.com
affiliates present their Oscar features:
AND THE NOMINEES
ARE... Check out Newcity.com specials on 1999 Oscar-nominated films
"American Beauty," "The
Hurricane," "Magnolia," "Girl,
Interrupted," "Fight Club" and
"Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace"
ALL THAT GLITTERS
An Oscar 2000 postmortem
ON
& ON & ON WITH THE SHOW
Winners, losers and the totally ignored at
Oscars 2000
GREED
IS GOLD
Who wants to see a millionaire cry? If you
do, tune into the Academy Awards.
OSCAR LAND
Visiting the place where Oscar is born
BACKLASH
Taking a crack at who should win a statue at the 72nd Annual Academy Awards
ACADEMIC DEBATE
Hashing out the best Oscar picks
THE OUTSIDER
Unless you've got a sixth sense, don't bet the farm picking this year's
winners
ACADEMY AWARDS ADDENDUM
Omissions define this year's Oscars
OSCAR TIME
Sit back and pick the winners
NOTHING
BUT TROUBLE
The forever-fickle Academy prepares for its
big night
PICK
OF THE LITTER
If Oscar had any sense, here's who he'd choose
INSIDER FADING
Michael Mann might as well turn in early on Oscar night. His film is up
against "American Beauty," the critics darling.
ENVELOPE
PLEASERS
Going for the gold at the 72nd Annual Academy
Awards
ROOSTER
LADY
Thanks
to a gift for sound effects, Mindy Burbano makes a fast transition
from dental hygienist to Oscar broadcaster
UP THE ACADEMY
The majority of this year's nominees actually reflect the chutzpah of 1999's
finest films
OSCAR GROUCHING
What if we just did away with all those award ceremonies?
 THE
TROUBLE WITH HARRY
It Ain't Cool to obsess over insider information
PUSHING
THE ENVELOPES
Against a background of relentless hype, the
Oscar race starts its engines
BEST
PICTURES
Is there any beauty to the Oscars? One insider
uses a mile of experience and a little sixth sense to discern the
Academy's house rules.
MIXED REVIEWS
Oscar week is the perfect time to evaluate film advertising
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