Top 5 Ways the City of Chicago Plans to Beat Recession by Screwing Us
Finally shakes off Second City stigma with the highest sales tax of any major US city at 10.25 percent
Parking meter rates to jump 300 percent from $.25 to $1
CTA ridership sets record for 2008; fares to jump $.50/ride from $1.75-$2.25
Chicago Public Library to double late fees from $.10-$.20
Senate seat up for auction
—Robert Duffer
Top 5 Most Horrible Things Blago Did
Trying t o sell the Senate seat
Pulling funding from sick kids
Calling Obama a “motherfucker”
Sucking his wife into his schemes
Cursing a lot and thus reminding the world why America is so white trash
—Garin Pirnia
Top 5 Free Booze Events in 2008
Black Swan, Levi’s Loft
Belmont Burlesque, Angels and Kings
Thrillist Repeal Prohibition Party, Plan B
Cold Sweat, Subterranean
Lava Lounge, Tuesday Nights
—Garin Pirnia
Top 5 Local Event Newsletters
Myopenbar
Thrillist
Urban Daddy
Daily Candy
Wicker Park Chamber of Commerce
—Garin Pirnia
Top 5 Biggest Losses – Places
Virgin Records on Michigan Avenue
Redfish
Bennigan’s on South Water
La Pomme Rouge
PHLI
—Scoop Jackson
Top 5 Biggest Losses – People
Studs Terkel
Bernie Mac
Rod Blagojevich
Jay Mariotti
Michael Crichton
—Scoop Jackson
Top 5 Chicago Sports Surprises
Cubs to the world: “Please, for the love of God, stop believing in us.”
Rex Grossman playing much better with neckbeard, goofy mustache
Derrick Rose so good that the Bulls have upgraded to “mediocre”
White Sox refuse to consider hiring Steve Perry to ensure a playoff run
Blackhawks still in existence
—Andy Seifert