This week’s biggest gainers:
They love him. They really love him. And put him in the last All-Star slot with 8.4 million votes.
His Caravan invigorated the blighted Southeast Side, helping erase his earlier tour bus mal-fecal-sance.
The Chicago-born First Lady was remembered for bringing a new activism and outspokenness to her role upon her passing last week. Not to mention making rehab safe for celebrities.
Curbed city-worker credit cards and cut back on aldermanic bodyguards while instituting a new kiddie curfew, making lunch money safe at last.
More than 1,600 couples have applied for civil unions in Illinois in the first month since their legalization, one of the governor’s few unabashed legislative victories.
This week’s biggest losers:
The Cubs skipper guided his team to the second-worst record in the National League at the All-Star Break. Break out the “Wait till next year!” signs.
It’s twelve years in jail for the former Burr Oak Cemetery director after that horrifying grave plot resale scandal. Don’t expect a peaceful rest, we’re guessing.
Charged with a misdemeanor for leaving a suspicious package near the Bean as part of a role-playing event. Apparently his “Dr. Who” costume didn’t allow him to travel back in time to retrieve it.
Not only did the White Sox second baseman make a gay slur, he did so in writing, and signed his initials. Didn’t he see the TV commercials?
Not only is the former media mogul ordered back to prison on September 6, but his story has been overshadowed by the tabloid hacking scandal in the UK.