By Rob Brezsny
ARIES (March 21-April 19): A report in the prestigious British medical journal BMJ says that almost one percent of young pregnant women in the U.S. claim to be virgins. They testify that they have conceived a fetus without the benefit of sex. That’s impossible, right? Technically, yes. But if there could ever be a loophole in natural law, it would happen for you Aries sometime in the coming weeks. You will be so exceptionally fertile, so prone to hatching new life, that almost anything could incite germination. A vivid dream or captivating idea or thrilling adventure or exotic encounter might be enough to do the trick.
TAURUS (April 20-May 20): As you weave your way through the next chapter of your story, I suggest you take inspiration from the turtle. You may even want to imagine that the turtle is your animal ally, a guide that helps you access the gradual and deliberate kind of intelligence you will need. Moving quickly will not be appropriate for the leisurely lessons that are coming your way. The point is to be deep and thorough about a few things rather than half-knowledgeable about a lot of things. There’s one other turtle-like quality I hope you will cultivate, too: the ability to feel at home wherever you are.
GEMINI (May 21-June 20): America’s biggest winery is E & J Gallo. It sells more wine than any other company, and has been named the planet’s “Most Powerful Wine Brand” four different years. Ernest and Julio Gallo launched the enterprise in 1933 after studying the art of winemaking in pamphlets they found in the basement of a public library in Modesto, California. I foresee a less spectacular but metaphorically similar arc for you, Gemini. Sometime soon—maybe it has already happened—information or inspiration you come across in a modest setting will launch you on the path to future success. There is one caveat: You must take seriously the spark you encounter, and not underestimate it because it appears in humble circumstances.
CANCER (June 21-July 22): Diamonds are not rare. They are so numerous that if they were evenly distributed, you and me and everyone else on the planet could each have a cupful of them. And if you are ever in your lifetime going to get your personal cupful, it may happen in the next eleven months. That’s because your hard work and special talent are more likely than usual to be rewarded with tangible assets. Strokes of luck will tend to manifest in the form of money and treasure and valuable things you can really use. Be alert for the clues, Cancerian. One may appear momentarily.
LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): According to the legends about Camelot and the Knights of the Round Table, the boy who would ultimately become King Arthur didn’t know he was heir to the throne while he was growing up. His future destiny was hidden from him. The wizard Merlin trained him but made sure he never found out he was special. When the old King Uther Pendragon died, a tournament was staged to find a replacement. The winner would be whoever was able to withdraw the enchanted sword that was embedded in a large stone. Quite by accident, our hero got a chance to make an attempt. Success! I have reminded you of the broad outlines of this tale, Leo, because at least one of its elements resembles your destiny in the next eleven months.
VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): When a crocodile slams its jaws shut, the energy it summons is powerful. But when the beast opens its jaws, the force it exerts is weak. That’s because the muscles used to close are much more robust than the muscles used to open. I’m wondering if an analogous story might be told about you these days, Virgo. Are you more prone to close down than to open up? Is it easier for you to resist, avoid and say no than it is to be receptive, extend a welcome, and say yes? If so, please consider cultivating a better balance. You need both capacities running at full strength in the coming days.
LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): In the latter part of the eighteenth century, American rebels and rabble-rousers used to gather regularly in the basement of the Green Dragon Tavern in Boston. There they plotted the Boston Tea Party, Paul Revere’s ride, and other dissident adventures that opposed British Rule. That’s why the Green Dragon became known as the “Headquarters of the Revolution.” I think you and your cohorts need a place like that, Libra. It’s high time for you to scheme and dream about taking coordinated actions that will spur teamwork and foster liberation.
SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): “When one has not had a good father, one must create one,” said philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche. What does that mean? How might you go about “creating” a good father? Well, you could develop a relationship with an admirable older man who is an inspiring role model. You could read books by men whose work stirs you to actualize your own potentials. If you have a vigorous inner life, you could build a fantasy dad in your imagination. Here’s another possibility: Cultivate in yourself the qualities you think a good father should have. And even if you actually had a pretty decent father, Scorpio, I’m sure he wasn’t perfect. So it still might be interesting to try out some of these ideas. The coming weeks will be an excellent time to get more of the fathering energy you would thrive on.
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): “If I seem free, it’s because I’m always running.” So said Sagittarian musician Jimi Hendrix, widely regarded as one of the most inventive and electrifying guitarists who ever lived. Does that prospect have any appeal to you, Sagittarius? I don’t, of course, recommend that you keep running for the rest of your long life. After a while, it will be wise to rest and ruminate. But I do think it might be illuminating to try this brazen approach for a week or two. If it feels right, you might also want to mix in some dancing and skipping and leaping with your running.
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): In the next eleven months, Capricorn, you will be given some choice riddles about the art of togetherness. To solve them, you will have to learn much more about the arts of intimacy—or else! It’s up to you: Either work your ass off as you strengthen your important relationships, or else risk watching them unravel. But don’t take this as a grim, sobering assignment. On the contrary! Play hard. Experiment freely. Be open to unexpected inspiration. Have fun deepening your emotional intelligence. That approach will work best.
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Hypothesis: The exciting qualities that attract you to someone in the first place will probably drive you a bit crazy if you go on to develop a long-term relationship. That doesn’t mean you should avoid seeking connections with intriguing people who captivate your imagination. It does suggest you should have no illusions about what you are getting yourself into. It also implies that you should cultivate a sense of humor about how the experiences that rouse your passion often bring you the best tests and trials. And why am I discussing these eccentric truths with you right now? Because I suspect you will be living proof of them in the months to come.
PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): In 1961, Paul Cezanne’s painting “The Artist’s Sister” was on display at a museum in Aix-en-Provence, France. Then a lucky event occurred: It was stolen. When it was finally recovered months later, it had been ripped out of its frame. An art restorer who was commissioned to repair it discovered that there was a previously unknown Cezanne painting on the back of the canvas. As a result, the appraisal of the original piece rose $75,000. Now both sides are on view at the St. Louis City Art Museum. I foresee a comparable progression in your life, Pisces. An apparent setback will ultimately increase your value.
Homework: Make up a secret identity for yourself. What is it? How do you use it? Testify at [email protected].