We’ve been doing our annual Top 5 issue as long as I can remember. Long before FuzzBead’s founders were even in long pants, we imagined this issue as a send-up of the obsessive list-making that infects the media at year-end, the tendency toward bloviation. And, at the same time, we figured we’d slyly deliver a bit of our own pontification in the process. Who knew that even Chris Rock would eventually join our Top 5 bandwagon? This year you’ll find 161 162 lists, either in these pages or on our various web sites. Things have clearly gotten out of hand, so next year, look for our year-end special: the Top 161 of One Thing. I bet that won’t be so contagious. (Brian Hieggelke)
Top 5 Things That Shock Today’s College Students George Eliot was a woman Gandhi was a world leader and not a festival akin to Lollapalooza Sarah Palin was not the first female vice presidential nominee in a major political party The Civil Rights Movement and the Civil War were two different things Smart phones can be used for research, not just for social networking —Amy Friedman
Top 5 Typos in College Papers Using “there” for “their” Alternating fonts from copying and pasting online Using semi-colons as fancy commas Texting language “Testes” as the plural form of “test” —Amy Friedman
Top 5 People Who Could Take Down Rahm Michelle Obama Jeff Tweedy 1871 shareholders The Banana Man graffiti character An endorsement from Redmoon —Emerson Dameron
Top 5 Chicago Startup Ideas Uber for police protection Kickstarter for unemployment Half.com for bullets The Internet of Things for pizza puffs Upworthy for whining —Emerson Dameron
Top 5 Less-Expensive Alternatives to Having a Kid in Chicago Adopting an older animal Growing a weed plant named Willie Nicknaming your crotch Being a creepy aging barfly Improv classes —Emerson Dameron
Top 5 Local Reddit Communities /r/Chicago /r/ChicagoJobs /r/LoopLunch /r/ChicagoCircleJerk /r/GreatNWSide, if your sense of humor goes to age eleven —Emerson Dameron
Top 5 Things To Do on a Two-Hour Layover at O’Hare Nurse a $10 draft beer while sitting Indian-style on the floor Read “The Devil In the White City” Buy Sox merch to appear tough back home Work on your Ditka impression Henceforth claim that you’re from Chicago —Emerson Dameron
Top 5 Reasons Chicagoans Honk in Alleys Free-floating anxiety Peer pressure A statement on the human condition Like the Ezekiel speech in “Pulp Fiction,” but for bicyclists Attempt to get signed by Drag City —Emerson Dameron
Top 5 New Restaurants Opening in 2015 in Logan Square The Village Green, with brunch and vintage vinyl Problematic Pete’s Paleo Place Artisan Hot Dish, hiring only real Minnesotans Guilty Greta’s Overpriced Co-op In-N-Out LA Speakeasy, with secret menu, illegal noise shows, and a staff of aspiring comedians —Emerson Dameron
Top 5 Hungry Brain Memories Spamby Dan’s sexy, Kennedyesque leer Brandon Wetherbee’s entertainment empire The din of screaming theater kids “I’ll play my accordion for you” and other highly specific pickup lines —Emerson Dameron
Top 5 Hotel Bars to People Watch Le Bar at Sofitel Lobby Bar at the Palmer House Lobby Lounge at the JW Marriott NoMI at Park Hyatt The Bar at the Peninsula —Amy Danzer
Top 5 Hotel Spas Chuan Spa at The Langham Chicago The Peninsula Spa NoMI Spa at Park Hyatt Cowshed Spa at Soho House Spa@theWit —Amber Gibson
Top 5 Places To Get Your Hair Styled Civello Blowtique Goldplaited Kala Salon Maxine Salon —Amber Gibson
Top 5 Not-So-Pedestrian Local Walking Stories Active Transportation Alliance recommends twenty streets for partial or full pedestrianization The anti-cam crew holds multiple protests against automated traffic enforcement Go Pilsen transportation demand program coaches residents on car-free travel options Active Trans identifies the region’s twenty most dangerous intersections CDOT makes significant progress on the $100 million riverwalk extension project —John Greenfield
Top 5 Wheelie Exciting Chicago Bicycling Stories CDOT starts construction on the $60 million Navy Pier Flyover Divvy expansion delayed by supplier bankruptcy, will reach ‘burbs next year Cyclist Suai Xie, fifty-nine, killed by hit-and-run driver in Bridgeport Chicago reaches eighty-five miles of buffered and protected bike lanes Bronzeville emerges as the city’s up-and-coming bicycling mecca —John Greenfield
Top 5 Rapidly Developing Transit Stories Chiberia wrecks havoc on Metra commuter rail performance Thirty-two hurt when El train jumps platform, goes up escalator at O’Hare California station rehabbed, Damen closed during $492 million Your New Blue program CTA breaks ground on massive Red Line station overhauls at 95th and Wilson Construction of Loop BRT system, new Washington-Wabash station slated for 2015 —John Greenfield
Top 5 Public Space Stories of 2014 Loop Alliance’s pop-up seating project and alley art parties activate ho-hum spaces Loyola opens St. Ignatius Community Plaza on 6300 block of North Kenmore “Road diets” on Broadway and Lawrence are a hit with residents and merchants 48th Ward announces final design for “shared street” on Argyle’s Asian business strip Construction moving along on The 606, including installation of Milwaukee bridge arch —John Greenfield
Top 5 Chicago 5K Races of 2014 Chi-Town Big Game 5K (February 2) Ravenswood Run (April 27) Run to Remember (May 3) Energizer Night Race (June 7) Oktoberfest 5K (September 18) —Zach Freeman
Top 5 Chicago Races Longer Than a 5K of 2014 Bank of America Shamrock Shuffle (March 30) Chi Town Half Marathon & 10K (April 6) Soldier Field 10 Mile (May 24) Ridge Run Challenge (May 26) Bank of America Chicago Marathon (October 12) —Zach Freeman
Top 5 Chicago Running Stores Fleet Feet Sports – Lincoln Square Fleet Feet Sports – Old Town New Balance – Lincoln Park Nike Running – Bucktown Universal Sole – Lakeview —Zach Freeman
Top 5 Places to Work when You Work from Home On the couch In downtown hotel lobbies NextSpace coworking Perfect Cup Coffee Shop While doing laundry/running errands/working out —Paula Carter
Top 5 Places to Train for the Chicago Triathlon Ohio Street Beach Barrington Hills Vision Quest Coaching Welles Park Pool With the Chicago Tri Club —Paula Carter
Top 5 Things That will be missed at Hungry Brain Their “Brain” Collection Dan the bartender The Best Jukebox selection in the city The Christmas Lights The Arkanoid video game —John Wawrzaszek
Top 5 Things That will be missed at Club Foot DJ Chuck Uchida The Elvis-Themed Men’s Bathroom The assortment of Happy Meal Toys Their collection of inflatable cartoon characters The Tetris video game —John Wawrzaszek
Top 5 New Bulls Pau Gasol Nikola Mirotic Aaron Brooks Doug McDermott E’twaun Moore —John Wawrzaszek
Top 5 CTA Blue Line Woes Train crash into the O’Hare Station Winter closure of Damen Stop Rifle shooting at train in the LaSalle Station UIC Halsted Station Peoria Street Construction Ventra —John Wawrzaszek
Top 5 Famous People Six Feet Under at Graceland Cemetery Joseph Medill Louis Sullivan Bertha Palmer Marshall Field George Pullman —David Hammond
Top 5 Stop-n-Gawk Spots for Art-oriented Loop Walking Tours Chagall mosaic on Dearborn and Clark Picasso/Miro Sculptures at Daley Plaza Millennium Park, specifically Frank Gehry’s Pritzker Pavilion, Cloud Gate (aka The Bean) and Crown Fountain Tiffany Dome at Chicago Cultural Center Maker Lab at Harold Washington Library —Alan Lake
Top 5 Painfully Disappointing NFL Teams This Year The Chicago Bears The Chicago Bears The Chicago Bears The Chicago Bears The Chicago Bears —Dennis Lee
Top 5 Places that Aren’t Explicitly Tot-Oriented But Will In Fact Make Your Half-Pint Feel Right at Home The Art Institute of Chicago, especially the Ryan Education Center The Museum of Contemporary Art, especially during Family Day Lincoln Karaoke, where on a weeknight, you are welcome to bring the under-twenty-one set Peggy Notebaert Nature Museum, whose Butterfly Haven alone is worth the price of admission The Chopping Block, where it’s a bargain to get your kid those measuring, mixing, baking and kitchen safety skills —Alanna Zaritz
Top 5 Developments in 2014 that Affected How You Will Consume Culture The dispute between Amazon and Hachette over how books are priced and sold. HBO announces stand-alone streaming service. YouTube develops plans for music subscription service. The Turtles win recognition of rights in pre-1972 recordings. The bankruptcy reorganization plan for the City of Detroit spares the sale of the art collection in the Detroit Institute of Arts. —Thomas R. Leavens
Today In The Culture, October 11, 2022: Chicago's Top Art Collectors | Keanu Exits Devil In The White City | Tribune to End Endorsements ART Chicagoans Mark ARTnews' "Top 200 Collectors" List ARTnews' annual Top 200 Collectors list is out; the extensive profiles of Chicago notables include Anita Blanchard and Martin Nesbitt (profile); Barbara Bluhm-Kaul and Don Kaul (profile); Denise and Gary Gardner (profile); Liz and Eric Lefkofsky (profile); Alec Litowitz and Jennifer Leischner (profile); George Lucas and Mellody Hobson (profile); and Penny Pritzker and Bryan Traubert (profile). Ex-Chicagoans…
